THIS IS NOT A PITY COMMENT

So it's been said that I tend to leave "pity comments" on people's blogs (particularly the blogs of certain boys that I'm dating). I admit, I have on occasion left a comment or two simply for the sake of leaving a comment. And I even concede that I've gone along with the joke and purposely left one or two shameless pity comments just to be funny (or try to be). BUT it has gone too far. Now I'm accused of leaving pity comments any time I say anything. Not only do I feel pressure to write amazing posts, but I also now have the pressure to write amazing comments. Goodness, comments are supposed to be the easy part. Maybe I should just give up.

...please continue to hold...

I'm on hold. I'm sitting here at my computer, my phone is next to me on speaker, and it's blaring this obnoxious Hold Music. (I really don't like Hold Music.) Every 15 seconds or so, a blandly pleasant man comes on the line and says, "All of our representatives are still busy. Please continue to hold for the next available representative." Well it's been 22 minutes and 13 seconds so far. I've sifted through Provoplat, put in a load of laundry, made my bed, read a bunch of wiki how-to's, and now started writing a post. I'm still on hold. I'm feeling a lot like Pheobe on that episode of Friends where she holds all day long, misses a whole bunch of important things she's supposed to do, and then just ends up getting disconnected.

I'm feeling stranded. Goodness, I've got things to do today! But I've invested so much time into holding that it would be upsetting to just give up now. I really need to talk to one of those representatives! How long do you guys think I should put up with this? There's that stressful tension that prevents me from hanging up... what if I hang up just seconds before some real live person comes on to help me?

Oh man, the message has changed. Now instead of the blandly pleasant man, it's a perky woman who says, "We appreciate your patience, and your call is important to us. One of our representatives will be with you shortly." It's been 31 minutes and 6 seconds. What does "shortly" mean? UGH.