Nominee for the Most Obnoxious Tradition Award

Why do women have bridal showers? I'm pretty sure that no one ever enjoys them. It's like the cardinal rule of bridal showers: no one is allowed to like it. Bridal showers bombard their guests with silly games and veggie platters to distract them from the fact that the whole purpose of the event is to flood the bride-to-be with mundane kitchen ware and a giant collection of tacky lingerie. And I always think it's strange when it comes time for everyone to gather around the bride-to-be, nibbling on crackers and watching politely, as she opens one gift after another. It seems like bridal showers are just this strange tradition we are obligated to uphold--an event that every woman endures with patience until it's finally her turn. Then once it IS her turn, she somehow forgets that every shower she's ever been to was miserable... so she decides to have one of her own. The only way I ever want one is if we can find a way to make it legitimately fun. But I don't think that's possible. It'd be breaking the cardinal rule of bridal showers.

...Sorry, maybe I'm too cynical.

Lingering Nightmares

Sometimes I have nightmares where someone I know well does something awful. Then when I wake up, I find that I'm really upset at them, or afraid of them, or I just can't shake those nasty feelings I had in the dream. I know it's irrational, yet it's like I can't readjust my brain to purge the dream. But it's not fair to be upset at someone for something they didn't actually do. I hate it when that happens.

Ocelot Heels

Does anyone know why Anthropologie is so incredibly expensive? I do think some of their clothes are awesome, but their prices are ludicrous. What's the deal? Is there cotton so much better than everyone else's cotton? Do they pay their Indonesian workers a eighty-five times more than what everyone else pays their Indonesian workers? Because their clothes are eighty-five times more expensive than other stores.

Example. If you want this top from Anthropolgie, you have to fork out $120:

It is a cute blouse. But why is it over $100? It's made of cotton. That's all. Cotton. With some flowers printed on it. I don't understand.

And check out these wacky shoes. If I had an extra $330, I could buy either pair of these:

It's a shame I don't have an extra $330, because those ones on the right (called "Ocelot Heels") are rockin. What's really wild is that for just $370 -- that's just $40 more, for those of us who buy on the margin -- I could get either of these beauties:

Yikes. 370 bucks and hideous. Maybe if I made tons more money each year than I currently do, I'd be willing to pay those exorbitant prices. I'd also have to become an eccentric old lady first.

So how about this... my new goal is to become a nauseatingly rich, crazy old lady. That way I can shop Anthropologie, sport those Ocelot Heels, and love life. Might be kind of fun. ;)