Denial

The semester is so close to over. After I make it through today, I only have one more day of class, a couple finals, and then I'm done with college. Done. Graduation. No more classes to skip. "Real" life. 9-5 job. Mortgage. Kids. 401-k plans. Writing a will. Picking a place to be buried. Losing my teeth.

I wish I wasn't feeling so stressed right now because I'd like to be reveling in my last few days of school. Instead, I'm hanging on for dear life until the end arrives. It's weird because this semester has been amazingly relaxed in general, just not right now. I wish the last couple weeks would be a little less like torture.

Bryant told me that I like school more than it deserves. He said I should be glad to be done, instead of wishing I were still in school and that it was easy... because it's actually hard.

But in a sense, school is easy--it's the only thing I know how to do. I don't know how to not be in school. I've been a student for 81% of my life, and that's not including preschool. I hardly have a memory of anything before kindergarten. Even if school does stress me out sometimes, I know how it works. I know how to handle the rough spots. I know how to be successful. And as long as I've got my class schedule in hand, I can map out my life for the next two years. Piece of cake.

But if school is done... then what? I don't even know how to map out my life for the next two weeks.

There's no class schedule or course descriptions for life after college.